Then, after maybe a month or two, people tend to break off from their once strong determination and slowly slip back into their old, unimproved habits- back to show their own monotonous, stupid and lame selves. For most people this takes a month or two- sometimes three. For me, it takes about oh.... 6 hours.
Let me describe to you how went my very first day of the first month of the year of 2011.
Let me start by giving you the plan. The 1st was a Saturday. Nadia and I like to go to the LDS Temple early on Saturday mornings to avoid visiting when it's crowded. After going to the temple, we planned to do something Nadia has never done before: go snowboarding. It sounded like it was going to be a crazy-awesome day, right? I had been planning on going snowboarding since even before she and I had started dating. It would be great!
The day started at 6:00 that morning. Nadia's car was parked a block away from my apartment so that I could park it nearby without getting it booted (which is what happens here when you park without a permit in any apartment's parking lot). I didn't even know what it meant to have a car booted until I got here, so in case you're as stupid as I am, use the following picture for reference. this is a car that has been booted:
It was FREEZING that morning. I went out to warm up the car. Nope, it wasn't booted. Now you know how all the cool cars have the keys that let you lock/unlock your car from a distance? I've never had a car that does that. Nadia's car does, though. Now, I have no idea how I did this. But somehow I managed to unlock the car, put the keys in the ignition, start the car, grab the ice scraper, close the doors and scrape off the ice from the windshield- and somehow in the process lock the keys in the car. Did I mention the car was running?
Let me remind you again that it was FREEZING. I was wearing just a suit and tie; good enough to keep me warm for maybe 5 min outside, but not much longer. I tried opening the doors of the car, and even tried using the ice scraper to pry the doors open. Nope- didn't work. So, I swallowed my pride, and called Nadia to admit my mistake. I asked her if I could convince her to walk the mile in the freezing cold to come and let me borrow her spare key. Yes, I'm aware that that would defeat the purpose of picking her up on our way to the temple. What else could I have done?
Nadia's response- "I don't have a spare".
Now is when Trent entered "panic mode". Wait, WHAT? No spare? Uh... dang it! NOW what? Nadia said she would walk over anyway, just to be with me while we figured something out. Not that there was much she could do, but I was kind of glad anyway to have someone come and freeze with me.
While she walked, I considered my options. I remembered a time when my mom had a flat tire on the freeway and couldn't figure out how to get the tire replaced. She called the local police station, and they sent someone over to help us in a friendly way. Soon after the policewoman showed up, we were on our merry way. "Oh, of course!" I thought, "The police! They can help! Don't they have one of those jimmy-lock thingies they use to get into locked cars all the time? I'll call them!" I used my numb, freezing fingers to text google. I texted my zip code and "police", and got the phone number I needed.
As it rang, I quickly accepted that I was an idiot, and decided that if the police people wanted to make fun of me, I would just accept it. Yep, I deserved it.
"Orem dispatch- how can I help?"
"Uh... hi... My name is Trent. I don't even know if it's okay for me to do this, but I seemed to have locked myself out of the car. Is it appropriate to call and ask you guys for help?"
"Yeah! We can help. Are you in Orem?"
"No, I'm in Provo."
"Oh, okay. Well, we can't leave our own area- you'll have to call the Provo Police to help you."
"Oh... right. Okay, I understand that."
Okay, I guess they have borders, and can't go out of their own jurisdiction. I can understand that. But it still seemed kind of funny that Orem was just a few miles from my apartment. Maybe I just watch too much Psych, but somehow it seemed like jurisdictions were "more like guidelines, anyway" (I now have the urge to yell "AAARRRRR!"). Anyway, I guess not. It turns out that Policemen and women actually follow the rules to the letter. Who knew?
Anyway, I called the Provo Police. The conversation went about the same until I got to the part where they said they could help me, and they said they would help me. Continuing from there:
"Well, before we send someone to help, could you tell us where you are?"
"Yeah, I'm in Provo. I'm at 800 N 150 W."
"Alright, and are there any children in the car?"
"No... it's not really an emergency like that. I just need help getting in."
"Oh, okay. Well, I'm afraid we can't just offer assistance like that. If it was an emergency we could help, but if it's just a convenience thing you'll need to call a towing company."
"Oh, okay. I understand. Thanks anyway!"
Wait, what? You mean to tell me that you can't send anyone over to help me get in my car (that's already running) until it's an emergency? At this point I considered a few things. I could try opening up the trunk by breaking the lock, knock on the door of a near-by house, ask if I could borrow their kid, and lock him or her in the trunk. That could count as an emergency, right? And then while they're there just throw in a "And hey- while you're here, could you help me get into my car?" Or, maybe this is just a reason to get married and have a kid- to make sure that any mistake I make is serious enough to get professional help. So THAT's why people have kids...
TO BE CONTINUED
Made. My. Day. Can't wait for part 2!
ReplyDeleteOut of curiousity, is this the "funny story" you texted me and said you needed to tell me?