The most famous I've ever been!!!

I still consider myself a novice when it comes to this whole blogging thing. I mean, I love writing and all, but my girlfriends blog is WAY cooler (if you don't believe me, check it out at nrcolfer.blogspot.com).

But I consider the what the stats of my site to be a good thing. Check it out- according to the stats on my blog, I've had 103 people from the U.S. look at my site, 11 people from Peru, 1 from France, 1 from Slovenia, and one person from Thailand.

Now, forgive me for not being so excited about the 103 from the U.S. See, the thing is that I think the blogging thing counts each visit from anyone, anywhere. What I mean is that the exact same person can open and close my site 20 times, and it will count as 20 hits. I know this works, because I'm a very insecure person and I did exactly that when I first started my blog just so it could look like 20 different people were interested in my random babbling. And then maybe there's just one other good Samaritan out there who likes making my self-esteem go up who has upon chance found my blog and opened it up 80 times. There- there's 100 hits among only 2 people. The other 3 were probably lost on the Internet, and are just lucky they didn't stumble upon a pornographic site instead with the mindless clicking about around cyberspace.

No, I'm much more excited about the INTERNATIONAL HITS! Check it out- 11 from Peru! From France, Slovenia- and THAILAND! I feel like I've become an international diplomat overnight. These people from these other countries, and may have never been to the U.S. before. That means that the only taste they have of true American culture is through none other than me. So then, I need to roll out the welcome mat and welcome them!

AHEM- Hello people of other countries that are not the U.S.- Welcome! I am an American in the heart of the U.S.A. I am dating a girl from Peru. I have served a religious mission in Brazil. I have visited Spain, Germany, Canada and Texas, so I would like to think that I am internationally educated. I have eaten your food, spoken your languages, and met your people. Let me say that on behalf of all Americans, that we are NOT all like this:

I mean, sure, it happens, but it's NOT ME. In fact, none of my friends are like this. My girlfriend once even told me that she would not be my friend if I was fat, so the pressure's on to keep skinny! I'm 5'10" (1.78 meters) tall, and about 150 pounds (about 68 kg). Most of the people I see are about as skinny as I am, or maybe as far as "overweight" according to the BMI (which sucks, another idea for another post). Where I live there are very few people that are obese, and I promise we're NOT always in McDonald's wasting food. Well, actually- that part I agree. No, not the McDonald's part, the wasteful part. I can't even remember the last time I went to McDonald's. Wait, yes I do!

Side note- last time I went to McDonald's. I asked for "2 double Cheeseburgers and 2 apple pies". They charged me much more money than I thought I should pay, and they ended up giving me "2 double cheeseburgers and 2 HUGE BUCKETS OF FRENCH FRIES".  The only part of that that I can understand was that "pies" and "fries" rhyme. Maybe they got them mixed up. But see, French Fries come in small, medium, large, and BUCKET. I'm confused about what part of "apple pies" can be mixed up for "THE BIGGEST QUANTITY OF FRENCH FRIES YOU CAN POSSIBLY GIVE ME".

I mean, I don't just mean the biggest package of fries. I mean a bucket. 2 of them.




Yeah. Two of these. That's what McDonald's understood instead of two small apple pies.

Anyway, I don't eat at McDonald's. But the main thing I agree with other countries is t hat we waste a ton of food! Not just food- we Americans have lots of trash. For example, for Christmas I just got a USB thumb drive that plugs into the computer to store data. It's only about this big:




Life size USB drive

The packaging it came it was in a plastic window about the size of a Rubiks cube, which was inside of a sheet of cardboard about as wide as a piece of paper, and tall as my computer screen. All that packaging just so it would scream the attention of a consumer walking down the isle it was hanging from in the store. I can't use that cardboard, so I recycled it*. I admit it, it was wasteful.

But I promise I'm doing my part! Just to not make it go to waste, I wear the same shoes I've had since I was 16 and I eat food that I don't like. So don't worry, I'll get wet feet, wear ugly clothes, and will get sick from things I eat, but I will not let it go to waste! You people can rest easy.

We're ALSO not like this:

Well, I'm not anyway. Some people might be. It's not exactly something I go around asking people- "Excuse me, fellow american- do you believe that we should try to conquer the entire world and make EVERYONE an american as we are?"

But if you really are interested, I'll try to take a poll around BYU campus.

Yeah, it's true that we have a bunch of troops in other countries. These are people that are risking their own lives to do what their own leaders tell them to do. If our county was ever under attack, it would be these people who would be putting their own life on the line to defend me and my life. I respect these men very much.

But what I'm trying to say is that they're in the other countries for reasons decided by the government of the U.S.A.. The people that trained them and give them orders are people in the government. I have not yet even voted for a single member of government. I'm not going to get into whether or not I agree or disagree with the people in our government, I'm just trying to separate myself from them. What I'm trying to say is that any bad or good political decision, including wars and general global bossing around- has NOTHING to do with me.

Then again, if you're a fan of the American culture and never had any of the above concerns, by all means- keep it up!

Anyway, welcome to a very small window of american culture via my blog. If you have any questions/concerns feel freen to leave a comment- I'll get to it and do what I can to make you enjoy your stay. Although for some of you I must apologize- I don't speak the languages of France, Thailand or Slovenia (to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure which language they speak in Slovenia). Beyond the micralce of Google Translate, I'm going to have a hard time communicating with you people, unless you speak English. And if you don't speak English, what the heck are you doing on my blog? How'd you find it, anyway if you were searching for it in your native language?

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*I grew up in Oregon, where recycling is available and encouraged. I also encourage it. However, where I currently live makes recycling very hard. Recycling and Sales tax are two things about Utah that I want to fix. You can do your part by writing nasty emails to the U.S. government.