The smoking tow truck man managed to get the door unlocked simply by lowering the window. I felt really dumbe tow truck man, though, was really happy with his creative success, and obvious triumph over my stupidity. He smiled as he went to his car to get the paper for me to sign to say that it was okay for him to take my money.
Nadia opened the back-passenger side door to put away the scraper, and made extra care to leave that door open as she opened the passenger door to get into the warm car- obviously taking extra special care to leave at least one door open at all times lest we lock ourselves out again. She hopped in the car to hop into the warm goodness!
Now, since I was especially freezing, I was excited to get into the warm car, too! I opened the door to get in, but something happened that I didn't expect- instead of making me feel really warm and good again, I started to feel faint. My vision started to blurr and the voice of my 11-year-old boy scout leader (my dad) somehow found the inner microphone in my brain and echoed in a haunting voice: "When someone is in danger of hypothermia, make sure you do NOT heat them up too quickly. For example, it would be a bad idea to stick them in a car that's been heated by the heater to be really warm. This could send the victim into shock, which would only make things worse."
Now, I don't think I was in danger of hypothermia, but I was certainly REALLY cold. Especially my feet.
As my vision and mind were swimming, smo-tow man (Nickname for him- "Smoking Tow truck man" is now "smo-tow man"- k?) thought it would be a perfectly good time to get my signature. Of course being who I am, I first pretended that nothing was wrong, trying to fight to stay coherent enough to simply sign his stupid piece of paper.
Now, you know no matter how many rules, guidelines, laws, etc. there are, there will ALWAYS be something that falls through the cracks? Maybe this isn't the best example, but I think it qualifies. I think there should be a universal law that says you NEVER ask anyone for their signature to validate a credit/debit card transaction when the person that needs to sign is too cold to even feel their own fingers. I can promise you that that signature looks nothing like my real signature. I'm actually expecting a call any day now from someone who sees that signature and says "Uh... that's not you!". In fact, that might be a good thing so that I can say "You're right- that's not my signature!" so that they assume that someone stole my card so I don't have to pay it. I'll make that choice when it comes.
As I was holding the paper and pen to sign, I felt myself get weaker, so I leaned up against the car. "That'll support me for a bit longer." I thought. Nope- my body wasn't even strong enough to support itself with the car's help, and I slid a little down the side of the car. Not enough to get hurt, but enough that Smo-tow man noticed.
"Hey, man, are you alright?"
Now, looking back, I can see the point of view from Smo-tow man. He gets out of his truck, struggles with the lock, and finally gets it open, and then hands the bill to the customer. The customer then faints. Now, if I had thought of this THEN, I might have beefed it up a little. The response to "Hey man- are you alright?" might have been:
"Oh... what? Sorry. I- mean, I was distracted. What a PRICE this is, eh? I think... oh, gosh... I can't breath... hospital! I can't..." [*FAINT*].
Then I might have been able to play with his emotions enough to make it free. I mean, let's face it- why should I pay him to ROLL DOWN MY WINDOW? Just because he has cooler toys means I have to pay him to watch him play with them? For anyone wondering, the total price to watch him play with toys was $75. Yeah- my dad told me to go to college so I wouldn't have a job like Smo-tow man? No, Smo-tow has the best job ever! He plays with toys for 8 minutes and gets $75 for it??? Well, at least now if I fail college, I'll have a plan B. Err... maybe that would actually be plan F by now. But those are thoughts for a different post.
Instead of making a big deal about it and finally putting my years of high school drama club to good use, I did the more manly thing. I responded "Yeah. Just feeling a little faint".
He suggested I sit down in the driver's seat which is what I wanted to do anyway. I don't know to this day how I managed to sign my name with fingers I couldn't feel, with eyes that were making everything blurry, or a mind that was struggling to stay conscious, but somehow I did it.
"Alright, you're free to go! Just don't drive if you're not feeling alright, okay?"
"Sure thing!"
I sat down in the driver's seat, and reclined the seat to just rest for a little bit. I couldn't see very well, but I knew that Nadia was concerned about what was going on. I learned my lesson when I was 18 that driving while feeling faint is a bad idea (another post for another day). So I told Nadia my brilliant plan to make everything better:
"Uh... I think I'm just going to lie down for a second. I'll be okay in a few minutes."
And I lied down. I don't know for how long. I'm not sure if I really blacked out, but if I did, that's when it was. All I remember after that was waking up to "Trent, you're shaking! Here, move over- I'll drive."
I still felt weak but managed to get over to the passenger seat while Nadia got into my seat. I took my shoes off at Nadia's suggestion to warm my feet up by the heater. Nadia threw her coat on top of me and adjusted the seat/mirrors and started to drive. We hit a few stoplights, so I think it took about 5 minutes to get there. I remember only a few things from the short trip- my feet burning with the cold, shivering uncontrolably, and a short glimpse of Nadia's face looking down at me with genuine fear for what was going to happen to me. I tried to tell Nadia that I was just weak from the cold, but that I'd be okay in a little bit, but I guess that's hard to sell when you're grimacing from pain.
By the time we got to Nadia's apartment I was feeling better. Still weak and very cold, but better. I sat up, and in an effort to convince Nadia that I was going to be okay, I even took the time to tie my shoes. Well, at least I tried. My fingers were still really numb, so I think in ended up inventing my own way of tying my own shoes. I got out and walked up the icy stairs to Nadia's apartment where I lied down on the couch while Nadia piled all of her best blankets over me and sat on my feet to keep them warm.
At this point I was done shaking, it was just a matter of getting warm again. I knew everything was going to be alright. So I thought I'd cut the tension with a little joke-
"Well... snowboarding later today will be the next adventure, right?"
Apparently I spoke too soon. Nadia reprimanded me for taking it all so lightly, and explained how she was scared that something was going to happen to me.
Now, I'd love to say that something really did happen to me. I think this would be a much cooler story if it somehow involved me getting hit on the head with a lead pipe while successfully defending Nadia from the clutches of a terrible biker gang.
Nope. I fainted from shock by being exposed to a warm car.
Things did get better from there. I warmed up, I could feel my feet again, and it took some time, but I still convinced Nadia to go snowboarding with me later that day. She fell down a lot, got frustrated, and I learned that the best way for her to learn how to do it was by me leaving her alone, but when we were done she said she wanted to go again, so I'm going to consider it a success. In fact, even if I'm wrong, I'm going to completely ignore it and say that snowboarding was a success- if not, then NOTHING was a success that day!
Anyway, so I think my blog's image of myself should change. I'm not sure if it's a demotion, or a promotion, but I think I'm done being portrayed as this guy:
and I should find a new image. Something a little more fitting to my weak little self. Maybe...
Or maybe this one. Yeah... that seems a good mix between the two:
(No- no political message intended- simply a picture of a grown man crying. Beyond sales tax or anything else I deem appropriate to later talk about, no politics will be discussed here)
Ignoring the fact that it's Glenn Beck, I'm going to use this image to represent the fool x infinity from now on. Well, at least until I find a better picture of something less controversial.
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